I was drunk...IN A BAR

When Jerry Jones first bought the Dallas Cowboys back in 1989, at least on the national stage, he had a lot of similarities to the fictional character J.R. Ewing; namely he was a flamboyant oil man who was ruthless (at least that was the impression after he fired the legendary Tom Landry). Of course as time went on, Jerry would become successful in the football business as the teams built by he and Jimmy Johnson (most say almost entirely built by Johnson) would go on to win 3 Super Bowls.

And after that, things started to suck. Slowly the Cowboys went from being number one to 5 and 11. Three straight seasons of it. After that was done, Jones made a good move, and hired noted turnaround artist Bill Parcells. The Tuna comes, goes to the playoffs twice and makes the team respectable, but more importantly drafts the talent that is fueling the current run of division titles (07 and 09) for the Cowboys. Tony Romo, Jason Witten, Marion Barber, Miles Austin, DeMarcus Ware, Terence Newman and Bradie James (aka THE CORE OF THEIR TEAM) all brought in by Parcells.

So after that little history lesson we fast forward to this week where JJ let this gem fly in some Texas watering hole (sounds like a piano bar – nice choice Jerry)…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHcK3D3HsEE

First off, doesn’t it seem just a smidge unbecoming of a multimillionaire to not only be drunk, but piss drunk at a bar. Now I can’t say that I disagree with him about Tebow, because I don’t think he’s going to be any good either. But let’s get to the fun part of this thing; his comments about Parcells. One of the patrons asks him, if he owned the Jaguars, would he bring in Tebow to sell jerseys (to all the Florida fans that would immediately become Jags fans, if they aren’t already). Jerry responds,

That's the only reason I brought in Bill Parcells…Bill's not worth a s**t. I love him. (good to see that Jerry says his friends aren’t worth a shit – come to think of it, this is probably what happened when he got drunk at that bar after the Super Bowl, talked crap about Jimmy Johnson and Jimmy ended up quitting)… Not worth a s**t, but I wanted — they were on my ass so bad. J's (Jerry’s) gotta have a yes man. So to get this f**kin' stadium, I need to bring his ass in.

That my friends is class personified. A guy who’s been to three Super Bowls and won 2 isn’t “worth a s**t”. This guy is freaking delusional. I never like to praise Parcells (not after what his Giants used to do to the Redskins) but I have to give the devil his due; he’s a great coach. In a sense Jerry saying he had to bring Parcells in to get the stadium built is true, but not for the reasons he states. He says it’s because he had to give the impression to the powers that be that Dallas was headed in the right direction. No Jerry, you had to have the Tuna come save your ass from the mess you had made (3 five and elevens in a row folks) so the taxpayers actually felt like helping pay for the affront to God you built in North Texas.

Obviously, I want to see the Skins win the Super Bowl this year, but I’ll be rooting for the Dolphins as well. I’m sure Parcells (the football czar in Miami now) wouldn’t mind getting the Lombardi Trophy at the stadium that his “ass” helped build.