OK, so I lied...

So I said that I'd have a post-game wrap-up after the Skins played the Eagles; yes, I could break down what happened at FEDEX on Monday night, but I don't have to. You have eyes! The defense played pretty good but gave up too many big plays, Campbell is regressing behind a subpar offensive line, and the whole team just makes too many mistakes to win. Watch ESPN, NFL Network or Comcast Sports Net and you'll get some form of the former in the next few days.

But an interesting idea struck me as I was watching all the postgame shows on the above channels; what would I say to Snyder right now if I had the chance? What would my plan be if I was one of his trusted advisors? Of course in the real world (because it wouldn't happen) I'd say, "Sell the Team" or "Fire Cerrato and get a real General Manager". But, if I had to come up with a course of action for "Mr. Snyder" for the rest of the season, with those two plans not an option, it would be the following (though it would take some guts and some humility - which reportedly the Skins owner is in short supply of)

Step one - Fire Jim Zorn Tuesday Morning. I know this would contradict Vinny's proclamation about the Z-Man's job security on his radio show Friday, but I would present it with the following words; "After listening to Jim after last night's tough loss to the Eagles, I decided that he just didn't have what it takes to lead us out of our current situation. I do not know if this team is talented enough to compete with the best the NFL has to offer. But I do know this; our team's execution is not up to par and that falls on the head coach. I have decided that we would like to move forward in a new direction" That’s it, that's all you have to say.

Step two - immediately hire Defensive Secondary Coach Jerry Gray as the interim head coach. You can tell the press this; "Jerry Gray has played and coached in the NFL and has learned from some of the best in the business. We believe he will bring some toughness, and attention to detail that our team has lacked over the past few years" Gray makes the most sense, as he's been a defensive coordinator (under Gregg Williams in Buffalo) so he's used to running the show, he's sought head coaching jobs before (which means he'll be interested in doing it to show future employers what he can do), and there's no one else that’s a realistic choice (Greg Blache doesn't want the headaches, special teams coach Danny Smith is a bit too loose of a cannon, and Sherm Lewis has been out of football too long and just got here 3 weeks ago).

Step three - hold an internal meeting on Wednesday morning in the Auditorium at Redskins Park with players, staff and coaches and give the following speech. "Fellas, this is your new coach, Jerry Gray. You've known him for a while; came to us when Coach Joe took over in 2004. The reason I picked him to be the new head man is simple; he's tough. He played at Texas, played in the NFL, coached in the NFL. HE DOES NOT TAKE CRAP! And that's a good thing, because all I've seen over the last few weeks is CRAP (I'm trying to keep this PG so replace crap with the expletive and jazz it up - feel free)! Your execution sucks, the effort has sucked at times. It's not good enough! Don't know if you guys know this, but it looks like we may be headed for an uncapped year next year. I can cut you all at the drop of a hat, and while I'll still have to pay you your money, none of it will stay on our salary cap. So I'm going to let Jerry do what he has to do to whip you all into shape. And if I hear you're not "interested" in following his lead, rest assured you won't be here next year." While I still think the talent (especially on offense) needs to be upgraded significantly, I also think this is the best way to evaluate what we really have in Ashburn.

Step four - stick to your guns. Let the staff work their magic and let the scouting department see who should be kept and who should be sent packing in 2010. With the murderer's row of a schedule coming up, we know Zorn might ride that baby to 3 and 13. At least give yourself a chance to win.

Step five - Then fire Vinny.

A Sweet Dee Moment

So I'm back. Got busy with Geaneas Wedding stuff, and just got plain lazy. I'll have an update on that in my next post.

I've been quite lax on my updates as this Redskins mess continues, but something struck me after the announcement that champion Bingo caller Sherm Lewis would take over play-calling duties against the Eagles on Monday Night. Skins fans were finally having their Sweet Dee Moment. Bear with me while I explain...

I'm sure many of you are familiar with the show "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia". It's quite hilarious and you haven't seen it you need to check it out. Anyway, in one of the best scenes of the show's 4 1/2 season run is called Middle Man http://www.hulu.com/watch/18050/its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia-middle-man . In it, the put upon female of the crew Sweet Dee, goes to the reading of her mother's will along with her brother and father and the three of them get more and more incensed as the see the wealth that they expected to come to them being given to someone else. After Dee gets insulted from beyond the grave by her mother (the lawyer reads the following "you were a disappointment and a mistake" - keep in mind Dee and her brother Dennis, who the mother likes so much she gave him her house, are twins) she tries to salvage the situation (for herself) by asking what is being done with Mom's jewelry. They lawyer tells her that the mother's wish was to be buried in it, to which Dee replies "G*dd**n it, Oh G*dd**n it!" and kicks the air in a most pissed off manner.

I thought about this scene when I heard the Skins were turning over their offensive play calling duties to a guy who hasn't been in the NFL for 5 years and has been working in a senior center. You see much like Sweet Dee getting beaten down by her mother's insults over the years, Redskins fans have been beaten down by a poorly run, clown show of a football team that can't seem to get out of its own way. And while the fans have been completely embarrassed by this season's team (including Sunday's pathetic performance against the putrid Chiefs) folks were seeing a silver lining; Zorn was going to get fired, Snyder would admit his mistakes (both in picking his coaches and players) and things would actually change in the offseason.

But instead of that, we get the following; Zorn is kept on, but has most of his responsibilities taken from him in an effort to get him to quit (foremost, taking play calling and giving it to the bingo caller). Of course there’s two schools of thought on this; number one, Snyder doesn't want to pay the rest of Zorn's contract (only 4 million bucks - I say only in comparison to Fat Albert Haynesworth getting 41 mill guaranteed), or number two (this is the more likely scenario) Snyder is still clinging to the idea that what plagues the team isn't the ill fitting scheme, or the terrible offensive line, or the broken down running back, or the receivers that can't play or the quarterback who probably isn't that great, or the General Manager (Cerrato) who has presided over this mess (as Snyder’s lackey) but instead it’s the plays being called. Oh G*dd**n it, indeed.